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Bringing it Back from the Dead: A Woman’s Guide to Impotence

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How impotence can affect women.

sexual impotence, psychological impotence, reasons for impotence, impotence symptoms, performance anxiety

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Having problems getting it up? It seems to most people that impotence is a problem that only affects men, but they’re wrong. Impotence is also a problem that affects women, mainly the partners of the suffering men. Being the other half in a relationship, women are integral to its success. Women also suffer when their partner is impotent because, apart from the sexual aspect, they are likely to blame themselves for the disorder.

Impotence, also known as erectile dysfunction or ED, commonly affects sexually mature males. It is characterized by the repeated inability to have or maintain an erection. Impotence can be caused by psychological issues, stress, alcohol abuse, smoking, hormonal deficiency, or conditions such as diabetes and cardiovascular disease. While there are no specific tests being done to diagnose it, there are tests that can be helpful in ruling out any possible medical or psychological condition causing it. When the cause is determined, the proper course of treatment will then be prescribed.

There is a sad lack of education for the public in general when it comes to erectile dysfunction. Unfortunately this becomes evident when a man begins to manifest the symptoms. Men often keep the condition a secret from their partners, fearing that it will make their partner see them as lacking in some way. This might make them act distant, irritable or even angry during intimate moments. When something goes wrong in the bedroom, women tend to blame themselves first. They begin to question their own desirability and/or sexual prowess. They may even suspect that their partner is having an affair, and begin to feel angry, anxious, hurt or neglected.

If a woman’s partner is suffering from impotence, her reactions may determine the man’s reactions to it. For example, when a woman begins questioning her partner about his erratic behavior, she may aggravate the feelings of guilt and shame that he is harboring. This will make him react to what he perceives is an attack on him and his masculinity. If a woman then pulls away thinking it confirms her suspicions of an affair or that she has done something wrong, it might shut down the communication between them. Once the communication stops, add in the turbulent emotions experienced by either side and you have a cocktail for disaster.

On the other hand, some women try too hard. Buying lingerie, dressing provocatively or frequently demanding sex as a sign of reassurance will not help matters at all. In fact, it might make the situation worse, putting more pressure on the man to perform. The stress that he feels from the performance anxiety will only aggravate the condition, because stress can contribute to erectile dysfunction. It will not help either if the couple pretends that nothing is wrong, because it is not an issuer that will just go away. Men and women must recognize the seriousness of the matter, especially as an indicator of other, more life-threatening problems.

Women need to approach their partners with a matter of fact attitude towards the issue at hand, laced with a great deal of love and sensitivity. Men are most vulnerable at this time, so be his friend. Reassure him that while the sexual aspect is important to your relationship, his condition doesn’t make him undesirable. Treat the issue not as a sexual problem, but rather as a physical problem that medical advice can shed light on. Let him know that he has your support, and remain open to different ways of obtaining pleasure without penetration. No secrets should ever get between a woman and her partner, especially in bed where you are both at your most vulnerable. Remember that, while sex is important, there are other facets that complete your relationship.